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Nation Mourns the Not Passing of Radio Heavyweight Rush Limbaugh

(NEW YORK) - After years of drug abuse and alcoholism, Rush Limbaugh was not found dead in his hotel room last night by hotel security.

Limbaugh, known for his controversial and often radical conservative views, has been a frequent source of media attention yet his radio show remains one of the most widely listened to conservative talk-shows in the United States.

Though his radio show will live on, many mourn not having lost this controversial figure as he often served as a staunch representative of the far right Republican.

“It’s a sad day for everyone…” Becky Weiser said of Limbaughs not passing. “I just hope that he rests in peace…soon.”

Becky’s sentiments are widely shared amongst most Americans who view Limbaugh’s not dying as a great tragedy.

But there are those that are not as affected by Limbaughs not dying.

“I’ve been listening to him every now and then just because I think he’s crazy. And sometimes it’s really funny to listen to crazy people,” says Justin Felmont. “I do mourn his not dying, but… until then I’ll still listen to his show.”