Mass suicides sweep nation in protest of Paris Hilton’s jail sentence…
Los Angeles, CA (NNC) - In what has now become a national crisis, dozens of young adults have been committing suicide in protest of Paris Hilton’s court-ordered jailtime sentence.
The suicides began shortly after images of Paris Hilton weeping turned up on the internet and in various publications. One of the suicides was 14 year old Carly Miller from San Diego, CA. When police broke down the door to her barricaded bedroom, they found Carly dead from an overdose on prescription sleeping pills. Blaring at full volume was Paris Hilton’s debut album Paris. A note left behind expressed the torment that Carly had been experiencing ever since learning that her pop icon was to be put behind bars.
“THIS IS FOR YOU, PARIS,” the note read. “MY HEART IS WITH YOU ALWAYS.”
Carly’s mother, Sharon, voiced her anger at the court’s action.
“Is this what you wanted, Judge Michael? Are you finally happy? How much more blood will you spill before you just learn to leave Paris alone!”
Dozens of similar suicides have been reported across the country, apparently spurred on by a mass online initiative by young people to support Paris. Through online social networking sites such as MySpace, teenagers have been able to coordinate their suicides and even provide tips on suicide methods.
One MySpace message that was sent out to members that belong to the online group “Free Paris” reminded teenagers to “slice the wrists UPWARDS, not ACROSS. The blood veins won’t be fully severed and you might just end up bleeding really bad!”
Additionally, several young adults are holding themselves as hostage providing ultimatums that call for a full pardon of Paris Hilton’s charges.
Judge Michael Sauer refused to comment on the situation but urged parents to lock their medicine cabinets and keep their kids inside.
POSTED BY BOB NEWMAN, LOS ANGELES, CA 14:38:23
Technorati Tags: paris, hilton, paris hilton, suicides, protest, jail, MySpace
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good thing that fucking stupid bitch killed herself.
all paris fans must follow her example. (^_^)
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